Informacje akademickie

Administrator

Wydarzenia akademickie. Terminy ciekawych spotkań, godzin rektorskich, ciekawych wyjazdów.

Administrator

13 kwietnia 2006 r. (czwartek) - godziny rektorskie obowiązują od godziny 12:00, a na Wydziale Humanistycznym cały dzień.
Po Świętach Wielkanocnych zajęcia rozpoczynają się od 19 kwietnia 2006 r. (środa).
4 maja 2006 r. (czwartek) - godziny rektorskie obowiązują do godziny 12:00.

JUWENALIA
10 maja 2006 r. (środa) - godziny rektorskie obowiązują od godziny 13:00.
11 maja 2006 r. (czwartek) - cały dzień wolny (Święto Uczelni oraz Koncert Juwenaliowy).
12 maja 2006 r. (piątek) - cały dzień wolny (Korowód oraz prezentacja Uczelni na Rynku Głównym).

Wiadomości ze stronki samorządu.

Program Juwenalia Kraków 2006

8 maja, poniedziałek - Klub „Żaczek”

JUWENALIOWY KONCERT KLUBOWY: „Kraina Łagodności”

„PASJANS NA DWÓCH: ANDRZEJ SIKOROWSKI l GRZEGORZ TURNAU"

po koncercie impreza

9 maja, wtorek - scena plenerowa przed Klubem „Żaczek"

REGGAEOWY KONCERT JUWEMALIOWY: „REGE DŻAMPA”

„PAPRIKA CORPS”

„WAWA MUFFIN"

„BAKSHISH”

po koncertach impreza w stylu jamajskim

9 maja, wtorek - Klub „Alka”
Wybory SUPERSTUDENTA Krakowa

10 maja, środa - Centrum Kultury „Rotunda” (piętro)
Wybory NAJMILSZEJ STUDENTKI Krakowa

koncert laureatki konkursu "Śpiewać Każdy Może"

10 maja, środa - Centrum Kultury „Rotunda” (parter)
PKS czy Przegląd Kapel Studenckich oraz koncert zespołu Negatyw

10 maja, środa - scena plenerowa przed Klubem „Żaczek”
Koncert plenerowy z cyklu „Śpiewać każdy może" – „FRESHBACK”
Plenerowe KARAOKE - finał całoroczny

11 maja, czwartek - T.S „Wisła”

WIELKI JUWENALIOWY KONCERT PLENEROWY:

„COMA”, „AKURAT”, „HEY"

11 maja, czwartek - teren przed Klubem „Żaczek”

Plenerowa Impreza Multimedialna „Gra świateł z muzyką"- pokazy laserowe

„DJ ADAMUS” + gwiazda zagraniczna

W trakcie imprezy wizualizacje, pokazy laserowe, oświetlenie architektoniczne budynku.

pokaz sztucznych ogni i wiele innych atrakcji

12 maja, piątek - Rynek Główny

JUWENALIOWY KOLOROWÓD „NA RYNEK MARSZ”

prezentacje KRAKOWSKICH UCZELNI WYŻSZYCH.

przekazanie „Kluczy do Bram Miasta” przez Prezydenta m. Krakowa

oraz koncert zespołu „POGODNO" wraz z Orkiestrą Dętą AGH

12 maja, piątek - Klub „Studio”

l KABARETON JUWENALIOWY

Kabarety: „TzDS”, „NOŁ NEJM”, „DNO”, „FORMACJA CHATELET”

12 maja, piątek- scena plenerowa przed Klubem „Żaczek”
JUWENALIOWY KONCERT PLENEROWY:

„HURT”, „LADY PANK”

po koncertach impreza

13 maja, sobola - Klub „Studio”
JUWENALIOWY KONCERT KLUBOWY „SISTARS”

13 maja, sobota - Teren przed Klubem „Żaczek”
JUWENALIOWY KONCERT PLENEROWY:

.GOYA”, „ANIA DĄBROWSKA”

po koncertach impreza

13 maja, sobola - Centrum Kultury „Rotunda”

II KABARETON JUWENALIOWY

Kabarety: „TzDS”, „NOŁ NEJM”, „DNO”, „FORMACJA CHATELET”

14 maja, niedziela - scena plenerowa przed Klubem „Żaczek"

KONCERT W KUBAŃSKICH RYTMACH: „Buena Vista Social Club”

“SON DE CUBA”

“REI CEBALLO & CALLE SOL”

po koncertach impreza w rytmach kubańskich z bogatą scenografią, pokazy salsy i capoeiry

Gość

Hey guys, there's another English person about, Smile

I'm a new on www.gazetkaenigma.fora.pl
looking forward to speaking to you guys soon

Gość

A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen And This Kitchen Is Delirious

No Husband Has Ever Been Shot While Doing The Dishes

A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out The Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Misspent Life

Help Keep the Kitchen Clean - Eat Out

Housework Done Properly Can Kill You

Countless Numbers Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen and Gone On To Lead Normal Lives

My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines

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A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."

"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

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Gość

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "a code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word "typewriter." One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter." The child told her mom what her dad said and her mother responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now because there's a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy had said. A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now." The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

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Gość

A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use the word "fascinate" in a
sentence. She calls on a small boy sitting in the front row.
"I saw an air show. And it was very fascinating."
"Good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" She then calls on a girl sitting off to the left.
"I saw some monkeys. They were very fascinating."
"Good, but I wanted you to use the world 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'"
Billy's hand shoots up into the air and she calls on him.
"Teacher, teacher! I got one!"
"Go ahead, Billy."
"My sister's shirt has ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fascinate."

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Gość

Hey www.gazetkaenigma.fora.pl!
A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.
After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That's right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I am doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps which might indicate breast cancer."
"Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

"Yes," she said, "You're getting herpes: which is why I came here in
the first place. Very Happy

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Gość

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"

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Gość

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches
in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not
the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things
up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and
skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter..........either my radiator
leaks or my exhaust backfires!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Now I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.

I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.

If you would do this for me no one would ever know.

I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.

I am very desperate and I need your help.

You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry.

I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so................

Wait for it.............

Do you have a piece of gum? Smile

)

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Gość

You've been programming too long when:

- When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".

- When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

- When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.

- When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.

- When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"

- When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

- When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.

- When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.

- When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.

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While the bar patron savoured a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm celebrating."

"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.

"What are you celebrating?" he asked.

"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynaecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass.

"As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."

"How did it happen?"

"I switched cocks."

"What a coincidence," she said, smiling.

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Gość

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?" "Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday. The dryer is unopened and well over the Customs limits; and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they reached the Customs area, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked: "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." "Next." Smile

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Gość

A young Father has finally had enough of his son's wetting his pants, and takes him aside.

"Son", said the Father, "You are going to have to learn how to urinate properly, and no longer in your pants!"

The Father brings to boy back of the garage to show him the "proper" method.

"Okay, son, this is how it is done. One, unzip your fly. Two, take out your penis. Three, skin it back. Four, let go with the urine. Five, skin it up. Six, put it back in your pants. Seven, zip up your fly. Now you know the RIGHT way!"

The Father watches his son every day to see how well he is following his instructions. He notices the son going to the back of the garage about every few hours. He is very proud of his son, and decides to peek at him while he is "doing his thing" to see how well his instructions are being followed.

The next time the son heads for the garage, the Father follows. He peeks around the corner of the garage and hears his son: Three, Five, Three, Five, Three, Five..."

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